As you can see, it would take just about 2 of Keith to make one of me!
I've been thinking about the differences between the words resolution and resolved, so I decided to look them up
resolution - the action of resolving to do something
resolved - fixed in purpose, firmly determined, resolute
Hmmm, they really are pretty close in meaning, but the difference I see is one is making a decision and the other is standing firm in that decision. So, I don't want to make a resolution this year, because I rarely keep them. I mean to, but as the months fly by, they sort of drop off into space somewhere. This year, I need to be resolved!
I have been carrying a great load of weight for way too long now. I am morbidly obese.All my fault, really. I mean, I can make all sorts of excuses for letting this happen - pregnancies, small bouts of depression, junk from my past, living in an area where it seems the people I know are all overweight...none of that gives me permission to ruin my body. Every year I watch Biggest Loser and find it so inspiring - but I watch it while I am snacking, vowing that I am going to do this...and I never do. I don't eat humongous meals like the contestants I see. My problem is snacking. I get close, last year I lost 30 pounds and went to the gym 3-5 days a week, but you can firm up all you want, and it still doesn't take weight off your body unless you are dieting as well. I have tried a lot of fad diets, no luck there - my hubby keeps saying the only way to lose weight is to stop eating so much and to exercise. He's right. There is no easy way. My doctor keeps telling me I am a good candidate for bariatric surgery, but I don't want to do something that changes my insides and never lets me enjoy a dessert again. I want to learn to eat responsibly. Funny, I am listening to K-Love radio and they just had a woman on talking about weight loss and she said, God made food for us to consume, not food to consume us! How true.
All this weight has taken a toll on my knees. They have gotten worse every year and I am so frightened of losing the ability to walk. It didn't matter when I was in my 30's, 40's or even the beginning of my 50's. Then one day I tore a muscle running down the subway stairs in New York City. I started to favor that knee and soon enough the other started bothering me.That was in 2004. Every year since then I seem to have lost a little more mobility, a little more strength. Now I walk with a cane, knee braces and a little hydrocodone just to go shopping, and by the time I am done, I am ready to cry with the pain. This is not a way to live! I went on a cruise last year and couldn't do anything more than walk the few blocks near the boat! I felt like I wasted a wonderful opportunity. I want to go into New York City with my sisters, or to the zoo with my grandchildren. If I don't do this, who is going to help my husband as he gets older? He is already in a wheel chair due to injuries from his job and post polio syndrome. I see how hard it is to move my mother-in-law in the nursing home and think who the heck is going to be able to move me if I live a long time (which is the norm for my family), it would be near impossible.
I joined www.sparkpeople.com today. I have done a lot of homework looking into different plans and what works - even Consumer Reports had an article this month regarding the various programs. If I had money, I would do Medifast or Jenny Craig, but who the heck has that kind of money? I certainly don't! And if you get your meals pre-packaged, what about your family?? I still have to cook for my husband, so it really isn't practical for me - and again, does this kind of eating teach you how to be responsible for making your meals for the rest of your life??? I can't take any of the pills that give you energy or help you lose weight, blood pressure is a problem - so far, my only problem other than my weight, which is a real blessing. I also have a bodybugg to help me keep track of how many calories I am burning and how many steps I am walking.
So I am resolved that this will be the year I get healthy. I will walk every day, starting small and adding a bit every few days. I will exercise and I will eat responsibly. If I fail, I fail in front of all reading this - that's pretty embarrassing, and may be the one thing that keeps me resolved! I will keep you updated on how I am doing. If this man can do it, so can I!